My days are filled with tears of joy, and sadness...

Who knows if anyone still follows along, and I know everyone wants pictures, not happening with this post. I have wanted to sit down for some time and update everyone on what is going on in our world, but it seems I never have the time or energy.

My boys are doing well, Wyatt is learning so much at the program he attends three days a week through school, and I could not be prouder to call him son, my first born! He is so easy going, laughs often, and is very obedient! He continues to work hard to catch up with his peers, and in his time, and God's it will happen. We had a Dr's appt a couple of weeks back with the specialist in OKC, and he tells us that Wyatt is seeing one line off of normal ( normal being what his peer group sees at this age), I told the Dr of the changes in Wyatt's life over the summer, that he has a new baby brother, and that we have been fostering as well. I told the Dr I was not surprised by the results of Wyatt's vision test, that I pray almost daily for his vision. The Dr put his arm on me, and praised God for the results of Wyatt's vision, and also prayed for our newest son, and our foster children. What an awesome Dr, and man!

Ryland, is growing daily! He is eating, pooping, and sleeping... Sounds like my last post... He is staying awake a lot more during the day, and sleeping more at night. He is a cooing at me now, and oh how each day I fall in love all over again! We go for a check up next week, so I will report back on weight, and height. He is wearing 3 month clothing! These are all the things that create tears of joy in my day!

Now, for the thing that creates tears of sadness... Her name is A, yes another foster child, a girl this time; she will be 2 on October 2nd, has red hair, and lots, and lots of hurt in her young little life! She has some BAD habits; she spits, she bangs her head, and she says f*** when she is upset. She has been a part of my family for about five weeks, and things are not getting better, in fact worse is probably more accurate because now my 3 1/2 year old has been heard saying f***, and just yesterday spitting. We are discussing the possibility of her being removed from our home, and will know more next week. I have cried daily tears over this little one, and have had several discussions with her mom, I really feel sorry for this family unit. This is learned behavior because someone was talking this way to mom, and acting this way, and it breaks my heart. But, at the same time I have come to realize I have created stress in my home, and Wyatt is truly suffering. So as sad as I will be to say Good Bye, it needs to happen for my family unit. Please pray with me that a wonderful person can assume the role of what we have started, this little girl is beautiful and 90% of the time is a sweet girl, but  10% is BAD, real BAD! I would love to know how she does, and that her heart can be mended. She is a strong willed child, and I pray that will be used for good one day!

Again, pray for Toddler A and that she feels loved, and secure during this time of transition. Pray for Wyatt, and Ryland that this will not be a long term impact on their lives, and pray for Justin and I that we see the lesson in this. There are so many teachable moments in life,and I do not want to waste what happened in our home the past weeks, I want to learn something from it. I know I have already learned that my Wyatt is an easy going, obedient child.

 I promise to post more if you don't expect me to always see the glass half full, lately I have experienced negative, sadness but I finally realized I should keep my prayer warriors updated on these events in our life as well, plus I want to look back and remember this season of our life!

142 days...

I try to never forget that when I am called to be a foster parent it is only a gift from God for a time and a season. The children placed in my care are guests, like my own children, until they are old enough to be on their own or ready to move on. I may believe their stay with me should be longer, but only God knows what my purpose is in this child's life. I am only a caregiver, not the owner of any child in my care.

After 142 days of being with my family, it is time for this little one to move on. He came in to our lives a baby, and leaving a toddler that learned to walk in our care, and say his first words while with us. He really is like a little brother to Wyatt, and tomorrow I will pick Wyatt up at daycare and bring him home so that he can see us put A's things in the car, say bye, and watch him drive away. I think about that little girl, and your dog Wayne and I never want Wyatt to experience that kind of loss! It will most definitely be a hard day, but from the beginning I have said we were called to love for a season, I just can't believe the season lasted this long, and once it began to I wanted the season to last longer. My prayer is for A, that he feels love and secure during the transition, and for Wyatt that he understands in his own little way, that this was a friend that stayed for a long sleep over! I want him to understand that his baby brother will not be moved from our home. God please protect my heart, and I thank you for allowing me to be this sweet little ones foster mom for 142 days......

Sunday night at our house!

I wish I could do better at keeping up with this blog, I get your messages from facebook, and also through Justin telling me you want more, more, more! All I can do is try, LOL... Having three boys 3 and under keep me a little busy, and a lot exhausted ( as you can see from the picture above, that is how I look and feel at the end of most days) Everyone in our house is doing great, Ryland is 9 weeks Tuesday and weighs 10.5 lbs; Wyatt is starting the school year tomorrow, and will be going 3 days a week; our foster toddler will be making a departure soon ( more on that in the next update) Finally, I have my pictures downloaded to the computer, and you know what that means I can share them with you! We may have several days where I do nothing but post a few pictures, and tell you about our summer. But, for now I am headed to bed, I am needing a few hours sleep before Mr. Ryland wakes me for his 2 am feeding!!!!

When you leave without him....

Today has been a special day... Ryland's birthmom came for a visit, and she was so sweet and concerned about Ryland. She wanted to know if he was sleeping well? Eating well? How we were? Overall, thankful for me and Justin. She is recovering nicely, and seems to be doing well emotionally! Her mom came with her, and we visited for about two hours. It was so E-A-S-Y, and felt right! God is so good, and I am thankful to Momma J for loving Ryland enough to know that she was not able to do the parenting part of his life, and are allowing Justin and I to be his mommy and daddy! The hardest part of today was hearing her mother say, she has been journeling since his birth, and the name of this chapter is, "When you leave without him." I think that sounds so appropriate, and describes the feelings that most birth moms experience!

We are all doing good, it seems we may have a little schedule worked out, but I am told that as soon as I figure this stage out it changes, so I am trying to go with the flow. I am enjoying the craziness of my life, and truly wouldn't change a thing. Update, on the other pregnant mom I mentioned last week. Justin and I met her, natural dad, and attorney for dinner last night. They were the sweetest people, and they again only want what is best, and know that they are not in a position. She told me she has read my life book a thousand times, and that her baby girl would have a good life with us. No decisions have been made, she is due September 29, 2010! At the end she was crying, natural dad was tearful and we shared hugs, and handshakes! I will be praying for her heart the next few weeks, and months and that she will feel peace about her journey!

To each of you that follow along with us, I say thank you for your prayers, and love! Have a great weekend, I know we will. Even if we never leave the house it is still full of fun times, and laughs!

Lots going on with little results...

I spent today preparing for our foster baby to depart tomorrow, we had been told weeks ago that he would be picked up at 9am on Thursday morning, and moved to Oklahoma City. Today, as I was inside daycare gathering his belongings, and tell the ladies bye I got a message on my phone that said, he would not be moved tomorrow. Something had come up, and OKC was not going to be the place for him! I do not have any more details than that at this moment, I will call tomorrow and gather more information. We were told to contact DHS if we wanted to request he be moved to another home! I called Justin, and he said no, baby A will stay with us as long as necessary, he is always welcome in our home! I was hoping he would say that..... About an hour before that we got another call from an attorney who contacted us last year about a pregnant girl that was going to make an adoption plan, and did not end up making a plan. This attorney still had my life book, and she learned from her best friend she may be a week or two late in calling me, but she wanted to call anyway and let me know that there is a birth mom, 7 months pregnant with a little girl, and would I be interested in talking with the birth mom?!?!? We are praying about this, and laughing with God all at the same time... This is a picture of snuggle time with me and my youngest son(that sounds odd, youngest son), and then one of him enjoying time on his tummy!

An update on baby makes Four...

We have had a wonderful couple of weeks, filled with visitors, great food being delivered to us every other night, and lots of nights with very little sleep! Wyatt is doing s-u-p-e-r with his new little brother, and he even helped Dad give him a bath this morning! The picture of Ryland was taken about 3am one morning just after a bottle(I think this was when I fell in love)! Also, my Uncle Wayne came for the day just to take me and my boys to lunch, we stopped on our way home to throw a few rocks in the pond! I feel incredibly blessed.... We still have baby A in our house, he is leaving this Thursday, July 8th at 9:00am, they are moving him to another foster home in Oklahoma City. This is at their request and not ours, Thursday will be a sad day for my family! I am headed to the grocery store now, and I guess I will flip a coin to see which boy goes with me, and which one stays with Dad, and Ryland...

And Baby makes Four.....

It seems sometimes things take a lifetime, and sometimes thing happen overnight! We learned last Friday that we had been chosen to adopt this little boy, got a call on Monday from our attorney who said to get prepared because we were having a baby on Tuesday. That call came to me at 11:42pm Monday night, and this little one entered the world Tuesday morning at 7:49am, Ryland Thomas and he weighs 7lbs 15 ozs! As you are rejoicing with us, please remember the birth family in prayer as they are grieving a loss today. It has been a very emotional 3 days, but God is so good. We have prayed at the bed side with birth mom, and her family! We have spent some time laughing with them, and crying with them. Justin, Wyatt, Ryland and myself are doing well, and adjusting to a new normal. We still have a foster baby in our home, so as of today I have three boys under the age of 3! I will share more pictures soon, the blog is not being cooperative this afternoon.

Memorial Day Weekend...

We have enjoyed a wonderful time as a family this weekend, no deadlines or places to be other than church on Sunday. Wyatt really enjoys being outside, and could spend all of his time outside if we allowed it. Baby A was watching Wyatt play in the water yesterday, but you will be glad to know that today he was part of all the water festivities. These boys do so well together, and seem to really enjoy each others company! Thank you to our Veterans, and the men and women who serve today so that we could enjoy these freedoms! Happy Memorial Day....

Fostering is a part of our life...

Please do not be to disappointed that I am extremely tardy in my updates, and also because this post will not include any pictures ( talk to my husband, AKA the upload to my computer guy). Life with two boys keeps me extremely busy, and I was not wanting to post on Wyatt's blog about our foster babies ( we only have one at a time, but are on the second one) but then realized this is part of his story, and toddler years so I might as well capture it here. We have had this second baby, call him baby A for about two months. He is the most precious little one, he is not so little though. He is eleven months old, and only weighs 2 lbs less than Wyatt. We have been asked on several occassions if they are fraternal twins, REALLY..... One is 3.2 years old, and the other 11 months. They play so well together, and he has been such a blessing to our family. I remember when people learned we adopted Wyatt and they use to say, " he is so lucky, and we would say no we are the lucky ones". I feel the same way about baby A, and people do tell us how lucky he is. But, I think we are the lucky ones! He has taught Wyatt about playing together, about sharing. Wyatt was always one to let someone take anything he was holding, and not object. I wanted him to care! Well he cares, and he will let you know M-I-N-E. Outwardly, I am saying we need to share with our friends, and inwardly I am thinking oh yes, finally. Also, Wyatt has watched me cuddle, and love on baby A and has decided he wants some of that also. A big leap with the attachment, and eye contact. Baby A has a court date in mid June, and at that time he will probably be removed from our home. He will have spent 3 months with us, and I am having a hard time thinking about the day I will have to say good bye. But, as I told the attorneys last week, and the social workers sometimes I am to love these children for a season, and sometimes a lifetime. When it stops being about the right reasons, then we will stop being foster parents......

Our Russian Boy....

I know, I know, I know...... It has been a while since you have heard from us, but we are busy living life, and currently living it with an extra little friend. ( I will explain that in a minute)

I know our family, and friends have been concerned about the Russian Adoption that was mishandled by the American single woman, and if it has or would impact my family! It will not impact our current situation, but should we decide international adoption is something we would want to do again, then we might have some trouble. We will have to see how it all plays out! I feel so bad for everyone involved, but especially the little boy. Adoption is HARD, Adoption is HARDER with older children, and I think Adoption internationally can be the HARDEST. We saw first hand some of the tantrums while we were in Russia, this is a difficult time in a child's life. New language,new places, new way of being treated, new people, new food, and the list goes on and on... I could really get excited about this topic here, but I will not.

We feel extremely blessed to have had a good experience with our adoption from Russia. It has not always been easy. Wyatt has always been easy, easy to a fault! Choosing to play alone, choosing to self comfort, choosing to put himself to sleep, choosing to be passive with friends. We have prayed for Wyatt to attach to us, need us to comfort him, to play with him, and put him to sleep. All of our prayers were answered, and have been answered many times over. He cries at times when we leave him (attachement), he will let me kiss his boo boo's (comfort), we play all kinds of stuff together in this house, and at the park/pond (play), and every night at bedtime we pray together as a family, and most nights sing a couple of songs (sleep). I often give thanks that God chose me to be his mommy, I am one lucky momma!

About our extra little friend... As I have mentioned before Justin and I took classes to be become foster parents. We were approved for less than a week, and got a call to take care of a little one. The first baby, Baby R we had for less than two weeks, and he went to be with his grandparents. We were without a baby for 4 days, then we picked up our second baby, baby A. He is 10 months old, and the sweetest little guy, (they both have been sweet babies)! We have had baby A for over 2 weeks, and we are uncertain how long we will have him. Wyatt has done really well with the baby, and is such a good helper. I will say give the baby his bottle, and he will. Many things I ask he will do, but sharing his toys has been a story in itself. Last week I asked him to give the baby a ball, he said No, so I got a ball for the baby. I turned around to see Wyatt had both balls, so I said well maybe he wants a car. I got a car for the baby, few minutes later Wyatt had that too. Externally, I was saying Wyatt you must share your toys with your friends, internally, I was overjoyed because Wyatt's passive attitude about things seems to be disappearing. I want Wyatt to be a sweet boy who shares, but not taken advantage of!

I am glad we have been available to foster some of these babies. I have decided maybe I am suppose to be a boy mom. Justin says it is saving us money, he thinks I will go broke if we foster girls. People often ask, " How can you care for them, and then give them back?" My answer is we have prepared our hearts, and home for babies. We have prayed about this, and given this to God. I feel like he has called us to love some of his children for a season, and some for a lifetime. God will work out all the details.....

Guess who started school?

Yesterday, my little 3 year old started school. He will go two days a week, on Tues/ Thurs and I can assure you it was harder on Dad than it was on Wyatt. I was surprised by the reactions of the family. Wyatt did great, I am excited about all the possiblities with learning, but a little sad, Dad was sad, really sad! The school called about 20 minutes after we dropped him off and said he was playing well with his new friends. I went to meet his daycare teacher at pick up just so I could see how his first day was, and he was smiling when he came out of the school. We will see how tomorrow goes, and if he is still just as excited!

Also, today I was telling some folks bye, and I said, "Bye Ya'll" next thing I hear is Wyatt saying, "Bye Ya'll", I laughed, and laughed then called his dad. Dad suggested I clean up my Texas trash talk!

Our Birthday Boy..

What a great week my birthday boy enjoyed! We went to lunch at Chic Fil A with his daycare class, he prefers this to cake so we made it an outing! Then on Friday we celebrated with 15 toddlers, at Tulsa World of Gymnastics (where he tumbles weekly). This place was a big hit among the kids, and everyone had a blast! We had birthday cake because it is mommy's favorite, but Wyatt enjoyed a bag of cheetos chips, which has become a favorite for him. Then who could celebrate a birthday without paper, and more paper. Thanks for Uncle Wayne who came for the party, and brought toilet paper, and paper towels as part of Wyatt's birthday gift! He loves his UW, and his paper....... We opened gifts on Sunday because we did not take the time at the birthday party to do this, Wyatt is still not very interested in anything but the paper. But, once he sees the toys, movies, and books he gets all excited! My sweet three year old starts school this weeks, he will go two days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day. It is through our school district, and it will help Wyatt with his language skills, and social skills! I cannot believe my baby has turned three.........

Under the Big Top!

We had a great weekend! We took Wyatt to his 1st Circus on Saturday morning. He did really well, it was 2 1/2 hours long, and he stayed interested for the most part, at times he was more interested in the lights than the performers, and he did not really want anything to do with the clowns! Also, we offered to take him on a pony ride, and elephant ride and again he was not sure about that and prefered to watch from a distance! After, the circus we went to the park because it was a beautiful day and played there for about an hour, then it was home for nap! Saturday night, mommy and daddy got to go on a date with another couple, we enjoyed a relaxing dinner with adult conversation! It was an awesome day!

Wish I could say the same for this Monday. Have a great week everyone!

Angel Fire, New Mexico

Wyatt seemed to really enjoy the mountains, and we skied on two different days! Angel Fire received 20 inches of snow in 72 hours, and our van was snowed in. We took a shuttle to the mountain for our days of skiing! Although, we did not put Wyatt in ski school this year because of his lack of communication with others, it was still a great trip! He really enjoyed skiing with his dad. Sorry, I cut Justin's head off in one of the photos, but it is not really about Justin is it? We plan to make this an annual family trip!!! Another thing that made it a nice trip was I had cell phone coverage, but no email or text capibility, so it was really about enjoying the moment, and the family. God knew I needed a break from all the hustle in my every day life!

Winter Sports....... Tunnel Crawling & Tumbling

So we have been enjoying some new winter activities in the house, tunnel crawling was discovered last weekend, after being snowed in for three days straight. He really loves to play in his tunnel! Also, about four weeks ago we started tumbling, and the verdict is still out if we should continue to go. Here is my dilemma... I observe from another room on a closed circuit TV, and the first week Wyatt went with the teacher with ease. The next week, he was not so sure, the third week he cried, until his teacher Ms. Dawn let him have a drink from the water fountain, and this week was a down right scream, I am not taking my coat off, and an outright NO, NO, No... At what point do I say this is not something he wants to continue doing? Within a few minutes of class starting he is enjoying himself, and it is a great motor skill activity. But, the last two weeks he has been a toot(being nice) after we got home from tumbling. Last night he even received a "time out" for having a bad attitude! From the pictures you can tell he is smiling, and having a great time.. I was even thinking his birthday party would be at this place next month, but now am thinking that would not earn me mother of the year in his eyes..... Joy, Joy!!! On Saturday morning we leave for Angel Fire, where we are going to be learning to ski, or I should say Wyatt is. We will see if this is a winter activity we continue to do every year! I really use to enjoy skiing, but Justin still loves to ski, and we always said once we had kids we would teach them, no time like the present! I will update upon our return, and let you know how the trip was......Pray for a safe trip,and safe skiing!

Wyatt during the holidays......

Pictures as promised! It has been a rough week with the tonsils, tubes, and adenoids being removed on Monday, but I feel we have rounded the corner! He was quiet all week, just did not feel well. But, yesterday he started talking some, and today has been a lot as well. I realized today, and thinking back to Wyatt's first set of tubes, that after we had them put in he got lots of words within weeks of the surgery, and then it sorta stalled. With this surgery we are getting lots of new words again. I really hope and pray that the fluid will stay out of his ears, it really does impact the way he hears his world!!!!!!! Prayers for no fluid to return, please, and prayers that he will start to really accelerate with his words. I couldn't post an update without sharing some new photos. These were of Wyatt on Christmas morning, we woke to a beautiful blanket of snow! Santa must have thought Wyatt was a good boy this year, and as his mother I would agree.

So I am tardy with a holiday update.......

Let me first say we had a great Christmas it was just the three of us! Wyatt did not have any interest in opening presents again this year, guess there is always next year to try again! I will get some pictures posted at some point, maybe next Wednesday can be wordless Wednesday where all I do is share photos! I am headed to bed now, can't even stay up long enough to ring in the New Year. 2009 was a good year, and I am excited about 2010 and the plans that the Lord has for us, and our family! I would like to ask for prayer, Wyatt is having surgery Monday morning at 7:30 am, we found out yesterday. He is having another set of tubes placed, and his tonsils removed. Because of his age they have told us to bring a bag and be prepared for an overnight in the hospital! I will update the first of the week to let everyone know we are home, and all is well.

Happy New Year, and best wishes for a wonderful 2010.......

Santa, please don't scare my baby...

Well, another year and I am pretty sure Wyatt does not know what to think about the man in red, other than he looks like a "hotdog". At first he acted as if he might tolerate him, and then decided no way, he really wants no part of it. So I guess we will not worry about standing in line at the mall to see Santa, besides Santa has already put in his request and let us know he likes eggnog, and would we please make sure he has a glass waiting on Christmas Eve! Wait a minute Santa, isn't it about the children? I hope everyone is having a good week, and taking time to remember the reason for this season.....

Oh, the weather outside is frightful....

So we have had to spend most of our time indoors. It is amazing how Wyatt and I play so differently when Dad is not home. We play with hats,scarves, and pretend cooking! Dad and Wyatt will pretend our living room is a WWF wrestling room and launch from the arm of the couch to wherever.... My sweet boy has also been showing some strong will behavior, "No" being a favorite word right now. Also, he has very little interest in eating, and I have finally realized I have no control over this, and am probably making the situation worse. He will eat when he gets hungry, right? I told Justin last night I wish Wyatt would tell me ahead of time that he is not in the mood for dinner, and I would not waste my energy making it.... I love my boys, and am so thankful for my life, and the blessings that I have received, and continue to receive from God! We are traveling to Dallas this weekend for family Christmas and I am sure I will have more pictures to post, in fact I know I will. Check back because tonight was Wyatt's school Christmas party, and we had a special appearance from Santa and Wyatt did not really want anything to do with the man in red, he thought he was a big "HotDog", you have heard me say that anything red is a hotdog to Wyatt right now!

High, High up in the tree...

Last weekend we went to Dallas and stayed with my cousin and his family. We had a great time with the kids, they played really well together. Also, my Uncle Wayne and Debbie were nice enough to watch Wyatt so that Justin and I could take my precious nephews to the Texas Tech football game, they played Baylor at the new Dallas Cowboy stadium. This tree in Alex's front year is going to be a fun tree for the kids to climb for years to come!